From Tears to Triumph: Fostering Resilience at Oak Tree Camps (And at Home Too!)
- OTC Team
- Jun 4
- 5 min read
At Oak Tree Camps, summer is a joyful swirl of laughter, discovery, and growth. But sometimes, those magical moments come with a few tears too. Whether it's a camper who cried after getting out in Hot Potato or one who gave up on jump rope after a single miss, we've seen how even play can become a big emotional challenge. And that’s okay because it’s also a teaching moment. This is not the “everybody gets a trophy” approach. It is not about protecting kids from losing, it is about teaching them how to learn from it. At camp, we help children understand that stumbling is part of growing, and that courage means showing up again, even after it doesn’t go your way.
Let’s talk about resilience.
What Is Resilience Anyway?
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks. It’s the “try again” after “I can’t do it.” It’s learning to sit with frustration without falling apart. And for kids, this is a skill that needs to be taught, practiced, and modeled—just like learning to tie a shoe or ride a bike.
Unfortunately, today’s kids often miss out on the scrappy, trial-and-error play that used to build these skills. Games like capture the flag, hand clapping games, jump roping, and hula hoop relays teach coordination and perseverance, but also social dynamics, taking turns, and the “oops, let’s try again” mindset. When these games are new to kids, they can feel embarrassed or discouraged if they don’t get it right away.
According to Harvard's Center on the Developing Child:
"Resilience is evident when a child’s health and development are tipped in the positive direction, even when a heavy load of factors is stacked on the negative side." developingchild.harvard.edu
This balance is achieved through protective experiences and adaptive skills that counterbalance significant
How We Nurture Resilience at Camp
At Oak Tree Camps, we build resilience by normalizing effort and celebrating progress, not just wins. Our group leaders are trained to gently coach campers through their struggles, offering praise for persistence and modeling calm responses to disappointment. Here’s how we help campers grow:
We teach through play. Activities are structured to include fun challenges that stretch comfort zones in a safe, supportive environment.
We encourage do-overs. "That's okay, let’s try that again!" is a common phrase at camp.
We celebrate effort. Whether it’s a camper learning to hula hoop or managing their emotions after a loss, we cheer the trying, not just the outcome.
We guide reflection. When something doesn’t go as planned, our counselors help campers ask, “What can I do differently next time?” It's about building problem-solvers, not perfectionists.
Ownership of Mistakes: If a camper forgets their water bottle or loses something, we help them retrace their steps and come up with solutions, instead of immediately fixing the problem for them.
Mindful Transitions: Built-in CHATS (cooling, hydration, and transition sanitization) help kids pause, breathe, and reflect—promoting self-regulation and emotional awareness.
Harvard's Center on the Developing Child emphasizes that:
"Learning to cope with manageable threats—or positive stress—is critical for developing resilience." developingchild.harvard.edu+1en.wikipedia.org+1
How You Can Support Resilience at Home
Building a resilient child doesn’t start or stop at camp. Here are some simple but powerful ways parents can help:
Let them struggle (a little). It’s tempting to step in, but try holding back. Let your child puzzle through that LEGO tower collapse or tie their own shoes, even if it takes longer.
"Raising resilient kids starts with allowing them to feel whatever they feel. Then, it’s about teaching them the skills to express and manage, or cope with, their feelings in healthy ways."
Praise persistence, not perfection. “I love how you kept going!” has more long-term impact than “You’re so smart!”
Model emotional regulation. When you’re frustrated, name it: “I’m feeling really upset right now, but I’m going to take a breath.” Kids learn emotional resilience by watching you.
Reframe failure. Instead of "You're not doing it right” try “You’re still learning” or “Let’s figure out what didn’t work.”
Promote Problem-Solving Skills
Encourage children to think through challenges and come up with solutions, fostering independence and confidence.
Provide Supportive Relationships
Harvard's research highlights the importance of stable, supportive relationships:developingchild.harvard.edu+1developingchild.harvard.edu+1
"Supportive relationships with adults help children develop 'resilience,' or the set of skills needed to respond to adversity and thrive." developingchild.harvard.edu
Being a consistent source of support helps children feel secure and capable of facing challenges.
Sometimes, in the rush of parenting, we can accidentally reinforce the feeling of failure through subtle language, reactions, or expectations. Here are some common (and very human!) ways that might happen:
💬 1. Overemphasis on Outcome
Saying things like “Did you win?” or “What was your score?” instead of “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn?”
Focus on grades, performance, or being the best can make kids feel like anything short of success is a failure.
😟 2. Disappointment in Tone or Body Language
A sigh, a furrowed brow, or a quiet “Oh…” when something doesn’t go right.
Kids are emotional detectives—they feel our disappointment even when it’s unspoken.
⚖️ 3. Comparisons to Others
“Your sister figured that out quickly.”
“Why can’t you be more like your teammate?”
Even subtle comparisons can crush confidence.
🔁 4. Fixing Too Quickly
Jumping in to “help” when a child is struggling can accidentally send the message: “You can’t do this without me.”
It also skips the important moment of learning through challenge.
🎯 5. Only Praising Success
If kids only hear “I’m proud of you” when they win, they might link worth to achievement, not effort.
🗣️ Instead, try phrases like:
“I noticed how hard you worked—tell me more about that.”
“That looked tricky. I love that you didn’t give up.”
“What would you try differently next time?”
The Takeaway
At Oak Tree Camps, we believe every scraped knee, missed catch, or tearful timeout is a doorway to growth. We celebrate the journey, not just the destination, because while there is so much joy in saying "I did it," there is even greater pride in knowing you gave it your best, kept trying, and then did it.
With your partnership at home, we are raising kids who are not afraid to try, fail, and try again. By nurturing resilience, we are not just preparing children for camp. We are equipping them with life skills that will serve them far beyond the summer.
That is the heart of resilience and one of the most powerful gifts we can pass on to our campers.
For more information on building resilience in children, visit:
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